Conclusion: I'm Home(:

The first thing I did when I woke up this morning (after somehow managing to sleep through the night on US time) was make some chai tea. I guess I brought some Kenyan habits back home with me. It's weird knowing that this is my last post and I almost don't want to write it because that means that its all really over.

When our plane out of Kenya lifted off the ground, all I could think of was how I have to find a way back. I've never experienced such and amazing culture. I didn't run in to a single person who was rude or gave me a bad vibe, everyone is so welcoming and loving. There is a mutual respect between everyone and there isn't ever a feeling of being rushed, or that there won't be enough time to get something done. That's another thing, when Kenyans have an idea, they just go with it and make it happen. There isn't the extreme planning and committees for committees and delegating roles for each individual thing, they just jump right in and do it.

All of the kids I met made me want to be better. They gave me the feeling that I could really change the world, and that might sound extreme, but they all just had such a light inside them in the midst of all the darkness around them. They looked at me with hope and the way the communities responded to us just being there was amazing.

 When I woke up this morning in the same bed that I woke up in before I left to go to Kenya, I didn't feel like a different person like I thought I might. Instead I just felt like the same person who sees the world and life as a whole differently. I know this is going to sound cliche, but before I went to Kenya, I didn't know where I was going in my life and for those of you who know me, I changed my plans about 34543 times in the past year. I would pray about it, but then not listen, and after a while God just stopped speaking. When I prayed it was like there was this disconnect because my actions didn't reflect what I was praying and saying that I wanted. I asked for direction, but then would turn to the people around me and let their opinions and ideas shape my future.

When the Kenya trip worked out, it opened my eyes that if God wants me to be somewhere and do something, I just have to trust in Him and it will happen. Before, I thought I could do everything on my own and the past two weeks showed me that it is the complete opposite, I can do nothing on my own with out Him. I've known God since I was a child, but never had the relationship with Him that I saw other people having. I didn't know where to start. But after a lot of praying and eye opening, I've learned how to just give everything to Him, and being close to His heart is probably the greatest feeling in the world.

I would love to be able to say that after all that I know exactly what profession I am going in to and exactly what I'm going to do with my life but that's where I went wrong before- thinking I could plan it all out on my own. All I know now is that worrying about my future and thinking that I need to have it all figured out has been the biggest waste of my time. By following Him, I will end up where I need to be(:

Thank you to everyone who has been reading and following this trip, hopefully there will be a next time! ;)