The first thing I did when I woke up this morning (after somehow managing to sleep through the night on US time) was make some chai tea. I guess I brought some Kenyan habits back home with me. It's weird knowing that this is my last post and I almost don't want to write it because that means that its all really over.
When our plane out of Kenya lifted off the ground, all I could think of was how I have to find a way back. I've never experienced such and amazing culture. I didn't run in to a single person who was rude or gave me a bad vibe, everyone is so welcoming and loving. There is a mutual respect between everyone and there isn't ever a feeling of being rushed, or that there won't be enough time to get something done. That's another thing, when Kenyans have an idea, they just go with it and make it happen. There isn't the extreme planning and committees for committees and delegating roles for each individual thing, they just jump right in and do it.
All of the kids I met made me want to be better. They gave me the feeling that I could really change the world, and that might sound extreme, but they all just had such a light inside them in the midst of all the darkness around them. They looked at me with hope and the way the communities responded to us just being there was amazing.
When I woke up this morning in the same bed that I woke up in before I left to go to Kenya, I didn't feel like a different person like I thought I might. Instead I just felt like the same person who sees the world and life as a whole differently. I know this is going to sound cliche, but before I went to Kenya, I didn't know where I was going in my life and for those of you who know me, I changed my plans about 34543 times in the past year. I would pray about it, but then not listen, and after a while God just stopped speaking. When I prayed it was like there was this disconnect because my actions didn't reflect what I was praying and saying that I wanted. I asked for direction, but then would turn to the people around me and let their opinions and ideas shape my future.
When the Kenya trip worked out, it opened my eyes that if God wants me to be somewhere and do something, I just have to trust in Him and it will happen. Before, I thought I could do everything on my own and the past two weeks showed me that it is the complete opposite, I can do nothing on my own with out Him. I've known God since I was a child, but never had the relationship with Him that I saw other people having. I didn't know where to start. But after a lot of praying and eye opening, I've learned how to just give everything to Him, and being close to His heart is probably the greatest feeling in the world.
I would love to be able to say that after all that I know exactly what profession I am going in to and exactly what I'm going to do with my life but that's where I went wrong before- thinking I could plan it all out on my own. All I know now is that worrying about my future and thinking that I need to have it all figured out has been the biggest waste of my time. By following Him, I will end up where I need to be(:
Thank you to everyone who has been reading and following this trip, hopefully there will be a next time! ;)
Monday, August 12, 2013
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Saturday
After part of the airport burned down earlier in the week, we weren't sure if our flights would go through or if we would even be able to leave from that airport. It was pretty hectic as soon as we got there, there were tons of people and very little organization. After checking our baggage and getting our passports checked, we then went back out in to the open area that we were in before getting checked..then through a security scan in the corner, then outside, across the street to a giant white tent on the Tarmac which was our "terminal." The porta johns were on the side of the tent where the planes were staged and there was only one security guy out there for 3 planes. It made me so nervous knowing that if someone wanted to just slip through, it would have been beyond easy.
We finally got on the plane and I was in the window seat with two people in a row beside me. The situation was already off to an awkward start when I noticed that me man sitting beside me was texting someone about the girl on the other side of him and myself, but it got worse as the flight went on. He had at least 8 drinks in less than 4 hours, and after the 4th he decided to interrupt my movie to tell me about his life story and to ask me 5 times what I know about his country, India. I took the first opportunity after 15 mins of his nonstop talking and stinky breath to restart my movie and I thought that was the end of it.
There were 3 Chinese women sitting in front of me, and the one on the end got up and got something out of her bag in the overhead compartment. When she shoved it back in, the man beside me got up and looked in the compartment, then started pitching a fit about how she had squished his cowboy hat. A flight attendant came over and tried to calm him down, but he continued to be rude to both women for almost 10 mins straight. The Chinese woman didn't understand English and looked like she was about to cry, and the flight attendant didn't have much else she could say. So with out thinking about the fact that I would have to sit next to him for the following 2 hours to Dubai, I told him it was his fault for putting it up there where people would be shoving their luggage and if he didn't want it to be squished he should've held it on his lap. He got all huffy and ended up sitting down soon after. AND THEN he starts trying to vent to me and express his racist views about "the Chinese" so as you can imagine, this didn't go over very well either. I never get in arguments, and very rarely even raise my voice, but he got shut up pretty fast. Then went to sleep. Thank GOD.
When we got to Dubai, we had a long layover, then a suuuuper long flight back to the U.S.
We landed here around 9:30, and most of the group is on the way back to NC right now. The Pages and I ended up on a later flight, so we won't be home until 9:30PM... But we're getting close!(:
We finally got on the plane and I was in the window seat with two people in a row beside me. The situation was already off to an awkward start when I noticed that me man sitting beside me was texting someone about the girl on the other side of him and myself, but it got worse as the flight went on. He had at least 8 drinks in less than 4 hours, and after the 4th he decided to interrupt my movie to tell me about his life story and to ask me 5 times what I know about his country, India. I took the first opportunity after 15 mins of his nonstop talking and stinky breath to restart my movie and I thought that was the end of it.
There were 3 Chinese women sitting in front of me, and the one on the end got up and got something out of her bag in the overhead compartment. When she shoved it back in, the man beside me got up and looked in the compartment, then started pitching a fit about how she had squished his cowboy hat. A flight attendant came over and tried to calm him down, but he continued to be rude to both women for almost 10 mins straight. The Chinese woman didn't understand English and looked like she was about to cry, and the flight attendant didn't have much else she could say. So with out thinking about the fact that I would have to sit next to him for the following 2 hours to Dubai, I told him it was his fault for putting it up there where people would be shoving their luggage and if he didn't want it to be squished he should've held it on his lap. He got all huffy and ended up sitting down soon after. AND THEN he starts trying to vent to me and express his racist views about "the Chinese" so as you can imagine, this didn't go over very well either. I never get in arguments, and very rarely even raise my voice, but he got shut up pretty fast. Then went to sleep. Thank GOD.
When we got to Dubai, we had a long layover, then a suuuuper long flight back to the U.S.
We landed here around 9:30, and most of the group is on the way back to NC right now. The Pages and I ended up on a later flight, so we won't be home until 9:30PM... But we're getting close!(:
Thursday and Friday: SAFARI(:
Once again, when we were getting ready to leave for the safari, it was so unreal that the trip was already coming to a close. In some ways it felt like we had just gotten there, but in others it felt like I had lived there for years.
It was a long long drive to Amboseli, and the last 30 mins were down a long dusty dirt and gravel road, which our driver called the "African massage." When we finally got there, I definitely felt like a tourist. It was a nice little resort type place in the middle of the nature with tall grass and plants everywhere. They greeted us with steamy towels for our face and fresh mango juice, then we went to our tents. Never in a million years did I think I would stay in a tent with a shower and flushing toilet, but I guess there's a first time for everything. The tent was small, but comfortable, and Ashley and I each had our own bed with a mosquito net. It's crazy that the one time over the whole two weeks when we actually had a dependable hot shower was in a TENT on a safari!
We went on one game drive that night before dark, and another at 6:30 in the morning. On the first one we saw a bunch of zebras, 4 lions, 2 cheetahs, giraffes, and some elephants in the distance. The following morning we got reeeaally close to a herd of elephants that was crossing the road when we first got out there, and another herd on the way out. It was so amazing seeing them in their natural habitat instead of the zoo or the circus. The next day we saw a herd of elephants up close as soon as we got out there, and another when we were leaving. We saw a water buffalo, some hippos a bunch of birds and more giraffes and zebras. The whole timeI kept thinking "my mom would LOVE this" so heads up mom, next time you're coming to Kenya with me(:
It went by really fast, but it was a perfect way to end the trip(:
It was a long long drive to Amboseli, and the last 30 mins were down a long dusty dirt and gravel road, which our driver called the "African massage." When we finally got there, I definitely felt like a tourist. It was a nice little resort type place in the middle of the nature with tall grass and plants everywhere. They greeted us with steamy towels for our face and fresh mango juice, then we went to our tents. Never in a million years did I think I would stay in a tent with a shower and flushing toilet, but I guess there's a first time for everything. The tent was small, but comfortable, and Ashley and I each had our own bed with a mosquito net. It's crazy that the one time over the whole two weeks when we actually had a dependable hot shower was in a TENT on a safari!
We went on one game drive that night before dark, and another at 6:30 in the morning. On the first one we saw a bunch of zebras, 4 lions, 2 cheetahs, giraffes, and some elephants in the distance. The following morning we got reeeaally close to a herd of elephants that was crossing the road when we first got out there, and another herd on the way out. It was so amazing seeing them in their natural habitat instead of the zoo or the circus. The next day we saw a herd of elephants up close as soon as we got out there, and another when we were leaving. We saw a water buffalo, some hippos a bunch of birds and more giraffes and zebras. The whole timeI kept thinking "my mom would LOVE this" so heads up mom, next time you're coming to Kenya with me(:
It went by really fast, but it was a perfect way to end the trip(:
Wednesday
Wednesday was a relaxed day, and everyone kind of split up. I was with Dr. Don, Brandon, Noah, and Ashley and we spent most of the day at the clinic at Beacon of Hope. We gave some classes to the nurses who work there on the new equipment that we brought, then answered some questions they had or things they needed help with at the clinic.
When we left, we went to Nakumatt, which is like a small Kenyan Walmart, then went to the small Maasai market around the corner. Everyone had gotten pretty confident in their bargaining skills by that point so we got some good deals(: then while Ashely and I were waiting for the guys, this little boy who was around 5 kept coming up to us and saying "please I'm hungry" with his hands out. Ashley and I got him a hotdog and juice, but it just made me think of Sofia and Brian and Isaac and Stanley and every other child I had met up until that point and I just prayed that they weren't out on the street alone like him. I prayed they had a full stomach and loving arms around them, even though I knew that the chances of that were slim. It was so hard leaving each of them and knowing what they were going home to. But prayer is a powerful thing, if I learned anything in Kenya, I definitely learned that.
When we left, we went to Nakumatt, which is like a small Kenyan Walmart, then went to the small Maasai market around the corner. Everyone had gotten pretty confident in their bargaining skills by that point so we got some good deals(: then while Ashely and I were waiting for the guys, this little boy who was around 5 kept coming up to us and saying "please I'm hungry" with his hands out. Ashley and I got him a hotdog and juice, but it just made me think of Sofia and Brian and Isaac and Stanley and every other child I had met up until that point and I just prayed that they weren't out on the street alone like him. I prayed they had a full stomach and loving arms around them, even though I knew that the chances of that were slim. It was so hard leaving each of them and knowing what they were going home to. But prayer is a powerful thing, if I learned anything in Kenya, I definitely learned that.
End of Tuesday
After we finished the camp at Sultan Hamud, everyone was exhausted. I still can't get over the difference between the two groups of kids, there vs. the first camp in Bissil. It's amazing how the environment a child grows up in almost forces them to have to act a certain way. When we were driving away from the church through the busy market roads, I heard the guys in the back of the van going "no no! No!!" And then a thud. A drunk man had stumbled straight in to the side of the via and no one knew whether to laugh or to feel bad because he got up and kept going.. The ride home was pretty long and I don't even remember what we had for dinner or when we got home.
I can't even explain how weird it was when we finished the second camp. It was crazy how the two camps we had been planning for for MONTHS, packing for, thinking about, counting down the days until, were over so fast. In the blink of an eye, over 1000 patients later, it was just over. I wanted to go back to Bissil and see if everyone was doing better, and to make sure the smiles and coloring pages I left the kids with had lasted. I wanted to build Stanley's family a bigger home so all 5 of them wouldn't have to share 1 bed. I wanted to make a place for all the street kids in Sultan Hamud to go, so they wouldn't feel the need to join gangs just for the simple fact that they can't afford their school fees. I wanted to stay.
The need was so great that I had to constantly remind myself that I really was doing something, we made a difference in people's lives just by being there and letting God's shine through us. I think its human nature to want to see results right away, we crave instant gratification, and if we don't get it, its easy to feel like there is no effect. But every smile we created, medicine we prescribed, wound we cleansed, vaccine we gave, all of it had an effect- and I was so blessed to be surrounded by an incredible team, where it was obvious that everyone genuinely WANTED to be there and believed in the work they were doing. We had a purpose and I'm thankful for the people who constantly reminded us of that.
I can't even explain how weird it was when we finished the second camp. It was crazy how the two camps we had been planning for for MONTHS, packing for, thinking about, counting down the days until, were over so fast. In the blink of an eye, over 1000 patients later, it was just over. I wanted to go back to Bissil and see if everyone was doing better, and to make sure the smiles and coloring pages I left the kids with had lasted. I wanted to build Stanley's family a bigger home so all 5 of them wouldn't have to share 1 bed. I wanted to make a place for all the street kids in Sultan Hamud to go, so they wouldn't feel the need to join gangs just for the simple fact that they can't afford their school fees. I wanted to stay.
The need was so great that I had to constantly remind myself that I really was doing something, we made a difference in people's lives just by being there and letting God's shine through us. I think its human nature to want to see results right away, we crave instant gratification, and if we don't get it, its easy to feel like there is no effect. But every smile we created, medicine we prescribed, wound we cleansed, vaccine we gave, all of it had an effect- and I was so blessed to be surrounded by an incredible team, where it was obvious that everyone genuinely WANTED to be there and believed in the work they were doing. We had a purpose and I'm thankful for the people who constantly reminded us of that.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Monday: day 8 & part of Tuesday: day 9 (:
On Monday we woke up pretty early to leave for Sultan Hamud. It was a 3-4 hour drive and we were all crammed in to the little van. We saw some giraffes on the side of the road on the way there though(: The two lane highway that we were on for most of the drive was like the playing field for a giant game of leap frog. I think I mentioned before that drivers here pass on the left, facing incoming traffic and sometimes barely make it back in to their lane before hitting the incoming car head on. It wasn't as terrifying until yesterday when we had giant 18 wheelers coming straight at us... And it isn't like a ever once in a while thing. The vans weave back and forth to get around the big trucks that take that highway back and forth to the port in Mombasa. But we survived!
When we got to Sultan Hamud, it was much different from Bissil. It was a larger, busier town, and was much more densely populated. The area around the church was bigger than before, but the church looked very similar. We got settled in, but I was car sick so I fell asleep pretty soon after getting there, and when I woke up an hour later, the bed I was asleep on had been moved and had a mosquito net over it, so I guess I was really asleep!
We had tea time, then a little later had dinner and our briefing. The latrines were MUCH worse than in Bissil. It was hard to use them with out gagging, and Ashley made the mistake of shining the light in to the pit, and saw a large rat. After that, I found ways around using them.. Sorry if thats TMI!
The next morning, we had a line at 6:30am, and the clinic was not set to open until 8. I was hoping to be able to color and play with the kids all day, but I had to be at the triage table for a while while we were backed up.
When I went outside, there was a different vibe from Bissil, less relaxed and the parents seemed a little more reserved at first. But after about 10 mins, I had a little group around me(: I made the mistake of having my back to the gate, so when a few of the school kids came up to me, I didnt realize there were 30 more following behind them..... I got mobbed. You can't tell from the pictures because I'm smiling and you can't hear them yelling "give me one color!" but they were reckless. I tried to get them to line up, but they all wanted to be the first to get a marker or crayon. I realized that they didn't care about coloring, but only cared about HAVING a crayon or marker in their possession. It didn't make me mad or upset, but just sad that they have to fight for every little thing and are so worried that if they aren't first, they won't get what they're in line for. And I'm sure that's the reality in every other situation in their life. Luckily, their teacher came and all she had to do was lift her hand an they all ran away terrified. She told me, "don't give them anything, they will steal, they're mischievous." I laughed, but it made me sad again because if they've been given that stigma or title, then of course they are going to own it and continue to act that way.
The kids who weren't in uniform weren't in school because they aren't able to afford the school fees and there was a definite divide between those who were and thosewho weren't. The kids who couldn't afford to be in school were rougher towards each other, but listened to me, but the school kids had a sense of entitlement and no respect.
When I was surrounded by the kids, two different people told me that I should open a school. It definitely made me second guess whatI'm doing with nursing school, but I guess its just something I will have to pray about before I change directions for the 58494985th time.
It's time for lunch! But I will write more in a little while!(:
When we got to Sultan Hamud, it was much different from Bissil. It was a larger, busier town, and was much more densely populated. The area around the church was bigger than before, but the church looked very similar. We got settled in, but I was car sick so I fell asleep pretty soon after getting there, and when I woke up an hour later, the bed I was asleep on had been moved and had a mosquito net over it, so I guess I was really asleep!
We had tea time, then a little later had dinner and our briefing. The latrines were MUCH worse than in Bissil. It was hard to use them with out gagging, and Ashley made the mistake of shining the light in to the pit, and saw a large rat. After that, I found ways around using them.. Sorry if thats TMI!
The next morning, we had a line at 6:30am, and the clinic was not set to open until 8. I was hoping to be able to color and play with the kids all day, but I had to be at the triage table for a while while we were backed up.
When I went outside, there was a different vibe from Bissil, less relaxed and the parents seemed a little more reserved at first. But after about 10 mins, I had a little group around me(: I made the mistake of having my back to the gate, so when a few of the school kids came up to me, I didnt realize there were 30 more following behind them..... I got mobbed. You can't tell from the pictures because I'm smiling and you can't hear them yelling "give me one color!" but they were reckless. I tried to get them to line up, but they all wanted to be the first to get a marker or crayon. I realized that they didn't care about coloring, but only cared about HAVING a crayon or marker in their possession. It didn't make me mad or upset, but just sad that they have to fight for every little thing and are so worried that if they aren't first, they won't get what they're in line for. And I'm sure that's the reality in every other situation in their life. Luckily, their teacher came and all she had to do was lift her hand an they all ran away terrified. She told me, "don't give them anything, they will steal, they're mischievous." I laughed, but it made me sad again because if they've been given that stigma or title, then of course they are going to own it and continue to act that way.
The kids who weren't in uniform weren't in school because they aren't able to afford the school fees and there was a definite divide between those who were and thosewho weren't. The kids who couldn't afford to be in school were rougher towards each other, but listened to me, but the school kids had a sense of entitlement and no respect.
When I was surrounded by the kids, two different people told me that I should open a school. It definitely made me second guess whatI'm doing with nursing school, but I guess its just something I will have to pray about before I change directions for the 58494985th time.
It's time for lunch! But I will write more in a little while!(:
Sunday: day 7
Sorry I've been slacking! Time to catch up(:
This weekend was nice because we got a chance to breathe a little, even though we were still out and about for most of the day. We went to Mavuno downtown for church, then had a traditional Kenyan lunch and went to the Maasai market in downtown Nairobi.
The church service was great, the message was about investments and if God is investing in you, what is His return going to be? This hit me because I know that being able to come on this trip has been a huge blessing, and I just hope I have created blessings for others and touched enough lives in return. The hardest thing has been knowing that even though I can stop a child from crying and make them laugh for a day, the reality is that I was only with most of them for one day and they have the rest of their lives ahead of them, they still have to find something to eat that night, and they still have to sleep in the dirty slum at night. This once again was just a reminder that we can do nothing worthwhile with out God. Through prayer, we can pray for them to know the promise of eternity, for them to know God and to trust Him to protect them. I know a lot of the medical providers in the group were struggling a little with the fact that we spent all day treating and helping, but we have no way to really follow up with these people and know if what we did had a lasting effect, or if they even followed our advice. I just hope that we gave them hope, I hope that they saw our love for them because of the Lords love for us. If that light was able to shine through, then I think we did what we set out to do.
This weekend was nice because we got a chance to breathe a little, even though we were still out and about for most of the day. We went to Mavuno downtown for church, then had a traditional Kenyan lunch and went to the Maasai market in downtown Nairobi.
The church service was great, the message was about investments and if God is investing in you, what is His return going to be? This hit me because I know that being able to come on this trip has been a huge blessing, and I just hope I have created blessings for others and touched enough lives in return. The hardest thing has been knowing that even though I can stop a child from crying and make them laugh for a day, the reality is that I was only with most of them for one day and they have the rest of their lives ahead of them, they still have to find something to eat that night, and they still have to sleep in the dirty slum at night. This once again was just a reminder that we can do nothing worthwhile with out God. Through prayer, we can pray for them to know the promise of eternity, for them to know God and to trust Him to protect them. I know a lot of the medical providers in the group were struggling a little with the fact that we spent all day treating and helping, but we have no way to really follow up with these people and know if what we did had a lasting effect, or if they even followed our advice. I just hope that we gave them hope, I hope that they saw our love for them because of the Lords love for us. If that light was able to shine through, then I think we did what we set out to do.
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